Ok Plane Janes, let’s welcome our first guest contributor Ms. Hayley! (FYI blogging and talking about yourself in a public forum can be a bit scary!) so let’s give her lots of support and feedback!
My name is Hayley and I’m a stay-at-home mom to a 1-year-old daughter and a wife to a hard-working hubby. Most of my day goes to cleaning, reading board books, laundry, running errands, exercising the dog, playing chase, making 3 meals a day , and of course giving my husband the attention he needs. What’s left of the day I spend for me: emailing, pinteresting, working-out, and then laying exhausted in my bed at 10:00 pm trying to get a little reading in. Welcome to my world!
I have a husband that is in not technically a “husband who travels”, however he might as well be. I completely understand your struggles with feeling like a single parent and doing it alone. Having a husband who owns his own business feels a lot like having a husband who travels, they are often absent physically and mentally. Of course at the beginning of our relationship it was exciting and interesting constantly being on the move and never being home. But then baby came and while I settled into my role as a stay at home mom, he continued to live the fast life…without me.
Yes, I have screamed at the top of my lungs
“STOP ACTING LIKE A FRAT BOY. YOU HAVE A CHILD NOW!”
(Laura’s aside– Oh Hayley, we have ALL said something in the same vain– not our prettiest moments right!?!?!-BUT out of frustration and exhaustion we all have those ‘not-so-proud-of-myself’ moments and I applaud you for sharing the reality of what that can sound like sometimes)
…something we can laugh about today but secretly I am totally serious…stop.
Somehow my emotional side has turned into an angry side and unfortunately, all my frustrations are not heard because someone (*cough cough*) cannot understand the challenges and exhaustion of being a new mom and a wife to a husband with ADHD (Bad!)
(Ladies, how do you communicate your feelings with your partner when you are feeling isolated? Let’s help each other– this one is HARD!)
All the while continuing to be the same woman with the hopes, dreams, and hobbies she had before she got married and knocked up. I know that sounds sad and negative; something nobody wants to hear when they are always happy.
Do I even have time to think about what I want anymore?
(Can I get an AMEN!?)
I’m still trying to figure that out.
I am in no way trying to speak negatively of my husband or our marriage because I admit there are lots of things I need to work on within myself . In fact, as I write all of this, it is a matter of perspective.
The challenges that I struggle with as a mom and wife are issues within me that hold me back from a constant state of happiness. Luckily, I know myself well enough to know a lot of issues are really about me and not so much about our circumstances.
Things that I am committing to this month in order to change my attitude:
Focusing on myself
Turning my thoughts around when I think something can’t be done
Okay enough ranting for now…I only have so much time before baby wakes up from her nap! : )
Ok ladies, I have 2 challenges for you!
1. share your tips with us in the comments on how you communicate with your spouse/significant other when you are feeling ‘the ugly mamma’ rear its head
2. Like Hayley what 3 things are YOU going to do this month to change your perspective?