Saving...
“I shall embrace the fact that in becoming a mom I traded perfect for a house full of real”
This spoke to me this week (uh-amzing blog post and site FYI), and I think is fitting as I introduce new (and amazing) Plane Jane {Ann}
Boy am I ever glad I’m not alone in this. I am a proud but exhausted stay at home mom, my husband works in the Alberta oil sands for 2–3 months at a time. I have 3 kids, ages 9,5,2, all girls.
I have a big family dog, chickens and a hamster. I take care of the dog while the kids have been assigned the chicken coop, hamster cage and helping out with their little baby sister.
I bake bread and cookies every day for their lunch, take care of some of the bills, maintain the property, and still manage to look decent when I walk out the door…
I brush off all compliments and questions with a smile and tell them all that I’m blessed to have a hard-working husband and that it’s actually harder on him to be away than on me…
inside I want to scream!
The older siblings are starting to fight a lot over everything and its driving me NUTS. Yes, they share the room but the constant teasing and yelling has got to stop. the oldest also wants to take charge of everything. I explain to her many times to let her younger sister do things on her own but it’s just not clicking.
Last night, my oldest told me summer is boring without her dad …
as tired as I am, I don’t know how to cope with that.
I know its not the same without daddy home but I’m doing the best I can. She has sleep-overs all the time, she goes to camp, she has every game in the world, we watch movies together … I tell her to appreciate these things and stop wanting more … it is what it is and when daddy gets home, we have lots of fun family time!
I sometimes feel like im a bad mother because I’m constantly reminding the kids to help out and stop arguing with each other and go play in your room!!!
I tell them “If you don’t start to get along with each other, we are moving closer to daddy so mommy doesn’t have to take care of you guys all on her own!’
Ahhhh … thank god for the glass of wine I can at least enjoy before hitting the sack. Not to mention, lately I’ve been so tired that I would just pass out without even finishing that glass.
{When I wrote it, I was feeling rather overwhelmed and it felt so good to vent my emotions!}
It is a real challenge raising kids with a husband gone for months and months … I have my good and bad days.
I came up with some good coping strategies for the dreaded summer break.
1. It’s ok to sometimes let the kids entertain themselves. I call it the recovery day!
2. No more guilt trips. If daddy is away, I will stop trying to do too many fun activities with the kids.
3. Let the house get messy. Who’s gonna notice it anyways (AMEN!!) ?
What will you be embracing this summer break?
I am so glad I found your site. My husband has traveled off and on for work for 7 years. He is IT.
I feel lucky he has the job he does, because where we live we couldn’t support our family on just his income, plus he comes home every week. (which I am eternally greatful ) So we got to choose our challenge of travel vs no money.
When I read your post it was all of my current frustrations. So thank you for venting. It is good to know that I am not alone in how I feel.
Btw I think “Real” houses are better to grow up in.
Jennifer! We are so glad you are here! Please feel free to stay a while and as always, if you have a story or a question you would like to post just email me at planejanesblog@gmail.com
hugs!
Nice to meet you Ann
We’re in Alberta too! I love your coping strategies and I think I might just print them off and hang them up somewhere so I can remind myself that I don’t have to compensate for dad being gone by trying to give them more of me. I struggle with that almost daily in some way or another (and not just with the kids). I also feel like a broken record, constantly repeating, “don’t talk to her like that! Don’t hit! Be nice, share!” But if I can offer a little hope, I can see the persistance paying off with my older kids. They DO know better and while they might always DO better at home, at least I can take them out in public (most of the time anyway, lol). Thank you for coming to our little group and I can’t wait to get to know you better
Hi, wow, thank you. I was reading your comments alongside my husband and it almost brought a tear to our eyes (at least mine)… It feels so good to know I’m not alone. I say it’s a struggle for both of us because he hates being away from the kids and seeing me suffer and I hate having him gone. It’s not easy but my man works hard to provide for our family and for me to continue to stay at home, something that I love. Well, my husband is actually heading back to the oil sands tonight and this time it’s a permanent position so I’d better toughen up. The girls have been asking for bunk beds and this and that so there are plenty of renovations to come. I have an online daily blog feel free to check it out
… Thanks everybody and stay strong!